Discontent To Be Me

Wander in darkness that isn't there
Feel a chill on top of the air
Looking for a door to escape
Drowning in a sea of hate
Turn around and look behind
Nothing following to find
And it won't get out of my head.

I look at you and I see
Everything I don't want to be
And I can't escape you.
Living in hell see here
Run your fingers through my hair
And wish that I could be you.

Drowning in cold that's inside
I can see you looking for a place to hide
From all you fear that's in me
Your head aches, your tongue is tied
Look at me you see I died
You know you've never been me

I can't see what's in me and who am I supposed to be
When my mask I is pulled away I fell apart I go astray
I like to live in my disguise and I won't look into your eyes
And you will never see me

Did you every feel a soul so cold
Drowning in darkness that you crave
Time passes by, the game gets old
With the soul that you enslave
Can you see what you make of me
Vulgar vileness depraved
Left this dark inside to be
In the soul that you enslaved

I can't show you my twisted soul and I don't want you here in my hole
To share my pain with me
Living forever's not all its cracked up to be I look at you and I see me
And this is confusing.

Peel the skin from off your back
Left in hell bleed and bruise
Fall down a well, heart attack
Leave the parts of me you use
Rip up the ends, take up the slack
Screaming aloud deep in hell
Scream the words you can't take back
And the feelings you can't quell

I am the mirror of your soul I fix your pain I fill your hole
And you will never know me.
You see in me who you want see
And you wonder why I look unhappy.

Look at me so you can see
What it is you think I am
Forever I tell you I'm not you
You can never be me

Look at me, what do you see
A visualization of misery
Discontent to be me
Bring you down here with me

I guess all this time I was supposed to be
The mirror of you that looks like me.

J.M. Gray ©1999