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Discontent To Be Me

Wander in darkness that isn't there Feel a chill on top of the air Looking for a door to escape Drowning in a sea of hate Turn around and look behind Nothing following to find And it won't get out of my head. I look at you and I see Everything I don't want to be And I can't escape you. Living in hell see here Run your fingers through my hair And wish that I could be you. Drowning in cold that's inside I can see you looking for a place to hide From all you fear that's in me Your head aches, your tongue is tied Look at me you see I died You know you've never been me I can't see what's in me and who am I supposed to be When my mask I is pulled away I fell apart I go astray I like to live in my disguise and I won't look into your eyes And you will never see me Did you every feel a soul so cold Drowning in darkness that you crave Time passes by, the game gets old With the soul that you enslave Can you see what you make o...
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Waiting

Waiting For the Phone to Ring Waiting  For the  Night  To fall Waiting Here for You to Come Waiting Always Waiting Staring  Into open Air hoping  But Here I  Sit Alone Quiet and  Uncontrolled Here I  Am for You but Not here Now and  Spiraling Into me Myself Swallowing Waiting And it hurts Like a Knife in My gut But waiting Anyway The tears  Don't fall Yet but I'm Waiting J. M. Gray ©2003
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Wanted

I wanted you here I wanted it clear Now I want it all to disappear Maybe I'll go You don't know It rots away, it bites you slow It's always been Wallowing in sin It wears a slack and rotted grin When you're near It all seems clear But it's not like I'm really here I slip but stay It goes astray And the end you run away It's all the same It's all a game I don't want to show my shame Did I die  It's all a lie It doesn't matter how you try Spoonfed me lies In your disguise Swamped in decay and buzzing flies I know you What did you do When it all comes crashing through I scream in fear When you're not near So maybe no one will ever hear Just a reflection Of my dementian  When all you wanted was perfection Here you go Give you a show You the one who wanted to know J. M. Gray ©2005
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Unclear

Don't be mistaken, I can see you... I can see you quite clearly through my clouded vision I can see you as you throw me away deeper shades looking I see a cloud it hangs before me the pain all condensed, I guess... but real is pain and life is real living real, staring at you through a haze in a daze I can see you clearly- maybe the lines are clearer when it hurts to look. but don't be mistaken, I can see you. I keep looking through the fog hoping for answers but I never get one and you you look at me as though I mean something but I will let you down my pain is my meaning and reason to go on I live for what I get I get what I already have. But don't be mistaken, I can still see you. I want to burn my eyes out. I can still see... I see you through the cloud that won't let you touch me won't let me feel you can we fuck, maybe that will make it all go away or will you go away? but still you look at me as though I mean something but stil...
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Mother Dear

you never saw the me you made when you tried to break me you never made the me you broke when you  to mold me i'm not the me you wanted to be and now you can't forgive me J. M. Gray, 3-5-05
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